Mission Miracles: He Loves You Today

Monday September 29, 2014

I watch #WomensMeeting while doing double exercises with Jane Fonda (silenced but on my iPad). I particularly enjoyed Sister Neill Marriott and felt challenged to memorize "The Living Christ" as she said she was doing so as a Christmas gift to Jesus. I want to do this too.

I receive an e-mail from my daughter-in-law (Kelsee) with links for clothes for my mission. I get out all of my clothes, look at the links, sort, order, measure. I need to lose at least 20 pounds around my stomach to be able to fit in the clothes that I REALLY want to take with me. And even then I don't think that I will look like the examples of sister missionaries pictured as suggestions for "how to dress". (Hence the double exercising with Jane mentioned above.)

Another e-mail - this time from my new bank which will go with me on my mission. Good. I changed the social security direct deposit. I added payment information for various accounts. I worked on a budget as if miraculously the change of bank would change the reality that there is only so much money available.

Oh, and then there is the health insurance. I set up online access to Aetna Senior Missionary insurance and Deseret Mutual Benefits or something. I need to send my information for the monthly premium. No form - where is the form? I'll never lose weight. I need to memorize that document.

Just breathe. Really, just breathe. Get out the bubbles... breathe.

And so it goes... my personal constant reminder that I will never be good enough . . . as I fall asleep I think of Sister Marriott and her words I heard that morning.

Tuesday September 30, 2014

I check on the accomplishments of Sister Marriott in an attempt to further torture myself due to my supposed inadequacies:

Sister Neill F. Marriott was called as second counselor in the Young Women General Presidency in April 2013. She was born and raised in Alexandria, Louisiana, USA. She attended Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, USA, where she earned a degree in English along with a teaching certificate. At the age of 22, she was converted and baptized into the Church in Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA. One year later she married David C. Marriott in the Salt Lake Temple. They are the parents of 11 children and 26 grandchildren.

Note to self: she is wearing appropriate missionary attire - I have none. And even if I get it it won't look the same on me.

Ugh - need I say more. I check the Missionary Portal to see when I report on my mission (like I don't know that it is 69 days) and wonder again how I will complete the numerous tasks I have assigned myself in an attempt to reach perfection by that time.

10:00 a.m. same morning - this is today

I didn't get up until 9:00 a.m. today

I am already exhausted so I decide to waste some time on Facebook to avoid my lists

They serve as written proof of what I know to be true - I can't possible be ready in 69 days.

I see that my daughter-in-law (always on top of things) has posted this and I remember:

I don't need to be told to breathe, I don't need to blow bubbles

It doesn't matter that I report in 69 days and have not yet reached perfection

These words by Elder Uchtdorf spoken at the same #WomensMeeting

Remind me of what really matters the most