He Loves You Today

Monday September 29, 2014

I watch #WomensMeeting while doing double exercises with Jane Fonda (silenced but on my iPad). I particularly enjoyed Sister Neill Marriott and felt challenged to memorize "The Living Christ" as she said she was doing so as a Christmas gift to Jesus.  I want to do this too.  

I receive an e-mail from my daughter-in-law (Kelsee) with links for clothes for my mission.  I get out all of my clothes, look at the links, sort, order, measure.  I need to lose at least 20 pounds around my stomach to be able to fit in the clothes that I REALLY want to take with me. And even then I don't think that I will look like the examples of sister missionaries pictured as suggestions for "how to dress".   (Hence the double exercising with Jane mentioned above.)

Another e-mail - this time from my new bank which will go with me on my mission.  Good.  I changed the social security direct deposit.  I added payment information for various accounts.  I worked on a budget as if miraculously the change of bank would change the reality that there is only so much money available. 

Oh, and then there is the health insurance.  I set up online access to Aetna Senior Missionary insurance and Deseret Mutual Benefits or something.  I need to send my information for the monthly premium.  No form - where is the form?  I'll never lose weight.  I need to memorize that document. 

Just breathe.  Really, just breathe.  Get out the bubbles... breathe.

And so it goes...  my personal constant reminder that I will never be good enough . . . as I fall asleep I think of Sister Marriott and her words I heard that morning.  

Tuesday September 30, 2014

I check on the accomplishments of Sister Marriott in an attempt to further torture myself due to my supposed inadequacies:

Sister Neill F. Marriott was called as second counselor in the Young Women General Presidency in April 2013. She was born and raised in Alexandria, Louisiana, USA. She attended Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, USA, where she earned a degree in English along with a teaching certificate. At the age of 22, she was converted and baptized into the Church in Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA. One year later she married David C. Marriott in the Salt Lake Temple. They are the parents of 11 children and 26 grandchildren.  

Note to self:  she is wearing appropriate missionary attire - I have none.  And even if I get it it won't look the same on me.

Ugh - need I say more.  I check the Missionary Portal to see when I report on my mission (like I don't know that it is 69 days) and wonder again how I will complete the numerous tasks I have assigned myself in an attempt to reach perfection by that time.

10:00 a.m. same morning - this is today

I didn't get up until 9:00 a.m. today

I am already exhausted so I decide to waste some time on Facebook to avoid my lists 

They serve as written proof of what I know to be true - I can't possible be ready in 69 days.

I see that my daughter-in-law (always on top of things) has posted this and I remember:

I don't need to be told to breathe, I don't need to blow bubbles

It doesn't matter that I report in 69 days and have not yet reached perfection

These words by Elder Uchtdorf spoken at the same #WomensMeeting 

Remind me of what really matters the most

12 Noon Today - Same Day

Meeting a friend for lunch at Windy Corner - Sigh!  

Enjoy this Life Journey now.   

Enough said.

http://www.mormon.org/values/missionary-work

https://www.lds.org/bc/content/ldsorg/callings/missionary/senior-missionary/senior-missionary-opportunities.pdf

64 BC Dissension & intrigue / in 2014 AD dra·ma = most dangerous circumstances

I was reading in Alma 53 on this beautiful morning.  I sort of wade through these "war" chapters possibly because a few chapters back I was learning about the plan of salvation - the atonement - mercy not robbing justice - you know, deep stuff!

So I'm reading without thinking too much about the words and I even chuckle a little as I come to verse and read ""9  And thus because of iniquity amongst themselves, yea, because of dissensions and intrigue among themselves they were placed in the most dangerous circumstances."     But then I quit chuckling and begin to liken this unto myself... and those around me... and our times.  We live in a world that can be dangerous: terrorists, natural disasters, thieves, robbers, etc. etc. etc. Of course!  It is a Telestial World after all.  But why then are we placing ourselves in dangerous circumstances because of "dissension and intrigue" that is of our own making?  The following word immediately came to mind (definition 2, of course):

dra·ma

ˈdrämə/

noun

2. 2.

   an exciting, emotional, or unexpected series of events or set of circumstances.

   "a hostage drama"

   synonyms:

   incident, scene, spectacle, crisis;

3. Example in a sentence:  
4. he or she liked to create a drama

   incident, scene, spectacle, crisis; excitement, thrill, sensation; disturbance, commotion, turmoil; dramatics, theatrics

Those of you who have known me for any period of time will probably understand why this idea intrigues me.  I may have created drama in my day - - I may still create drama at times (I humbly admit).  And sometimes the drama includes dissension and even intrigue.  

Some of the things that matter most . . . sisterhood, "journals", testimony

I can't remember the last time I just stopped and thought about some of the things that matter most to me.  This past month I have taken the time to sift through years of memories in the form of pictures, letters and other keepsakes.  I have filed away marriage and death certificates.  I have scanned pictures, pictures, pictures to be stored somewhere in cyber space.  I have gathered family history stories from various places and saved them to my on-line family history records.  I have been busy, busy, busy doing these things.  I have cried and laughed and been astonished at how things have changed.  When I get up in the morning I am already planning what I will be sorting, scanning and organizing that day.  

Yesterday, the 13th anniversary of the bombing of the twin towers, I watched memorials and words of tribute.  I remembered the feelings of that day and the words and the emotions and the patriotism that followed.  And I was reminded about some of the things that matter most . . . at least to me.  Here are a few:

 Sisterhood:  

My mother, Mildred Brakey Hensley, left the Rocky Mountains to move to Kentucky, Ohio, Indiana, and Kentucky again never to return to live in the West.  If my memories are correct she kept a picture of the Rocky Mountains in our home always.  She was always homesick more for the mountains than the people I sometimes thought.  

Mom had five daughters but was often sad as she remembered her only sister dying at the age of eight in a tragic accident.  

When my sister Pat and I were sorting through some of her things a year or so ago Pat found the note and the check below.  I'm pretty sure my mom didn't take a trip west in 1964.  And clearly she never cashed this check from a sweet friend at church.  But she saved it and we found it after she died.  

Mildred  in 1942 in Colorado with 3 frineds
She is 3rd from the left 

1.  I have four biological sisters:  count MY blessings!

2.  I cannot count the number of sisters in the gospel that I have acquired over the 53 years I have been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - eight states, at least 16 different wards, and oh so many relief societies.

3.  And of course the "sisters" in my life who are not biological or church sisters but sisters - JUST BECAUSE we were and are blessed to share brief periods of life on this earth together.  

Sisterhood = love, laughter, tears, silliness, joy, service, compassion, fun, celebrating the differences in each of us!

"Journals":

I am a staunch believer in writing things down.  This is not the forum for all of the reasons why I feel this way.  However, in 1972, Roger and I lived in Provo, Utah where he was attending Brigham Young University.  We lived in Wymount Terrace, married student housing.  Our relief society featured a sister each week by having her husband write about her.    

Roger wrote this about me.  Would be life be different if he had not done so?  Probably not.  But oh the tears, laughter, sorrow and joy I feel each time I look at it are, as they say in the commercial, PRICELESS.  

Janice, Tanya, Roger and our window decorations in 1972
while living in Wymount Terrace in Provo Utah
We decorated our windows for just about everything!

Journaling = memory keeping, sharing, loving, laughing, crying, creating, in words or pictures, letters, notes, calendars, connecting the past, present, future in a remarkable way.

My Testimony

I found my life story, written on "Treasures of Truth" paper, as I recorded it in 1977.  I have no memory of writing this testimony and am not certain if I have read through it since I wrote it until I found it again the other day. The song I quoted at the beginning replays in my mind on the first Sunday of each month as I enter church for Fast and Testimony meeting.  I don't know who wrote the song but I do remember it from the 1960's and also remember singing it in the Corbin Ward with Sharon Maguet and Tanya (my daughter).  They have both died and I can imagine them singing it together in their remarkable voices right now!

Testimony = Everything spiritual or temporal that REALLY matters to me in this life!

I Know Who I Am - - - Elder C says PRAYER IS THE KEY TO MIRACLES - - - Elder H learns through prayer PLEASE DO WHAT YOUR TOLD - - - Everyday mission miracles

My mission calling is to serve as a Mental Health Adviser in the Europe Area.  I am learning more about this mission every day.  It seems that I will be working with full time missionaries (along with their leaders) who are dealing with mental health issues.  This is overwhelming to me.  When I saw this video yesterday the spirit touched me and I received confirmation that Heavenly Father trusts me to do this work.  These youth represented, for just a few minutes, all of those that I will come to know and love during my service.  

For awhile I've been trying to come up with something to post on this Mission Miracles blog. No matter what I wrote, it didn't seem right.  After watching this video, saw some pictures of a friend's son who has been on his mission for a little over a year.  Such joy shining in those eyes.  With his permission she shared his message below the picture and with their permission I want to share it as I contemplate Mission Miracles!

This Saturday we had ltos of things planned to make up for all the bad days we had throughout the week.  So we went to knock on the door of a lady we contacted a while back.  Her son answered the door and said she was good and didn't want to talk with us.  So, we won't be going back there anymore.  As we were walking to her house earlier we passed a lady sitting on the steps and continued on to knock on the other lady's door.  We walked by her and just said hey.  After our refection at the other house by the lady's son, we both remembered the lady we said hey and we both had the feeling that we should have stopped and talked with her.  But, we hadn't, so we went back and there happened to be her mom there with her on the steps this time.  We conversed with them and two other girls that showed up to join in the conversation.  This lasted about an hour and a half, I think.  She was a super awesome lady, and asked questions as though she was prepared to be an investigator in the MTC to practice with.  She asked all the questions we have answers to, and said so many things that we converse about and help.  So with all, and just one lady.....we received so many new people to teacher.  There is her, her daughter, her son is too young, he is 4, there is her mother, one girl that is her neighbor, and the other her niece.  This was super awesome and an answer to our prayers.  We are really needing to find people to teach and have more lessons or this area has a possibility of closing.  We will work ourselves to death this week to improve and make sure this doesn't happen here. PRAYER IS THE KEY TO MIRACLES."

I know this to be true!  We have recently seen this in our own home this week!  We are truly blessed when we follow the teachings of our Savior.

This reminded me of another young missionary who lived in Lexington until a couple of years ago. When I think of mission miracles I think of the growth that takes place in these young men and women as they choose to serve the Lord full time.  I've been reading updates from Elder H since he began his service and have not only enjoyed his spiritual experiences but his realistic view of his circumstances and his great sense of humor.  MISSION MIRACLES!

this is a fun mission. meeting lots of great people out here and ignoring beware of dog signs (havent been bit once) people always look funny when their vicious pitbull is wagging its tail at my side when we are at the door. lots of interesting stuff here too. border patorl has been up and down the rio(river thats the border) catching the people and stuff . . . we have been finding alot of people to teach and help change and a few who are very promising. the goal is to picture them in the temple. because thats really what we are doing here. preparing people for the life to come. met a drug dealer the other day. and then we started teaching a runner (gets and takes drugs from the border and sells in the states)  he has baptismal date and is reading the book of mormon. its super cool to see the changes that we can make in peoples lives. just trying to cure mans worst enemy in our branch so we can become a ward. being flojo (lazy). its the worst thing ever and it ticks me off especially when their is work to be done so when i pray at night it always goes a bit like this. heavenly father please help these people just do what they are told and then i always hear elder h... please just do what your told. ITs always humbling. so yeah we got alot going for us and i know this is super cool. Got to love it.