FAITH ENOUGH

I was reading the June 2014 issue of the Ensign which is a magazine published by my church - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  As I was leafing through the pages I stopped when I saw a poem entitled "Faith Enough."  It seems as if every day I am asking myself:  Do I have enough faith to . . . do whatever I am expected to do or required to do or called to do or want to do. . . Faith Enough just for today?

This poem speaks of the brother of Jared and Nephi - of Peter - and maybe Daniel - and of course the pioneers who followed a prophet to an unknown land.  Some of my ancestors were part of this group - people with names like William and Phoebe.

I think of Esther who had enough faith to go to the King and ask him to save her people because, as Mordecai said, "who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this."  And Esther did what she was asked to do with faith enough as she said "if I perish, I perish."  She didn't perish and her people were saved.  And Mary who said "Behold the handmaid of the Lord.  Be it unto me according to thy word."  and she became the mother of Jesus, the Savior of the world.

My mission application will be submitted to Salt Lake this week and then I will be waiting to hear where I will be called to serve.  When I do will I have faith enough...  the poem says that her story is still being written.   I guess mine is, too.   I have lived many chapters: as a child, as a wife, as a mother, grandmother, a widow, wife again, widow again and of course as a office worker, a college student, a social worker, a counselor, a college instructor and a youth leader at church, a teacher at church, girls' camp director.

This chapter is called retirement and I'm liking it.  I'm girls' camp director again.  And I'm going to serve a mission.  So I guess, as my story continues to be written, I find that I do have faith enough . . . at least for today.

Peace, Peace Be Still

The winds and the waves shall obey thy will: peace be still.
Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea or demons or men or whatever it be,

No water shall swallow the ship where lies the Master of ocean and earth and skies.

They all shall sweetly obey Thy will:  Peace, be still ... peace, be still.

They all shall sweetly obey Thy will: Peace, peace, be still."

Sometimes He calms the storm . . .

sometimes he lets the storm rage 

and calms the child.

This hymn, "Master the Tempest is Raging" (Mary Ann Baker & H. R. Palmer)  has always been a favorite of mine.  There is a power and majesty in the words and music as they build to the final words of the chorus:  peace be still, peace, peace, be still.  

Over the years there have been some very specific times that I have felt the peace as a storm has actually calmed.  One such experience was in Oklahoma.  I was the stake girls' camp director.  That year I was alone in my tent as the storm was raging.  And of course we were far away from what could be considered a safe place in the storm.  I can't remember how many girls were there but I can remember the horrible fear that I had as I considered my responsibility to see that they were safe from harm during this week.  What could I do?  It was out of my control - completely. At that moment, in the dark night during a horrible storm,  the Young Women theme for that year flashed into my mind:  2 Timothy 1:7:  "The Lord hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."    I calmed down and felt it - peace.   At the same time the storm calmed down and I heard it - peace.

A number of years later I was studying the life of Jesus Christ trying to understand why some people are miraculously healed and others are not.  My husband, Roger, was struggling with Huntington's Disease and I wanted him well.  He had always had such a strong faith and I was working on developing that kind of faith as well.  About once a month I made the five hour drive to the Atlanta LDS temple.  It was sort of a pilgrimage to prove how much I believed that there should be a miracle in this case and that Roger should be healed.  I can't remember exactly when I knew that wasn't going to happen.  What I can remember is at some point, while sitting in the temple, I felt it:  a warm, peaceful feeling.  I didn't hear the words spoken, but I heard them in my soul:  It is not expedient that I give you what you are asking for but I can comfort you and give you peace. And He did.

As my journey has continued I have found many times that I cried out in fear and desperation and feel somewhat like these words from the hymn:   "Master in anguish of spirit I bow in my grief today.  The depths of my sad heart are troubled O, waken and save, I pray...and I perish, I perish dear Master.  O hasten and take control."  There has never been a time He has not responded by giving me comfort and peace - if I was willing to accept it.

Here is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing this marvelous song.   Peace, peace be still.